THURSDAY THIRTEEN

Ok – as most of you know – I work for an OB/GYN office. As one could imagine – things can get pretty – um – well – interesting around here. So – in honor of the job I am not too excited to have here are

Thirteen things overheard at the OB/GYN office:

“This message says something about IUD strings . . . . “

“I will never stand between a pregnant lady and her restroom”

“Does it itch and burn”

“Is it coming out”

“I need guinea pigs – time to do quality control” – needing people to have their finger pricked to test one of the machines in the nurses station

“Time to get the I.V. poll and dance” – don’t ask – lmao

“Oh goodie – drug rep lunch time” – yeah, we’re spoiled with lunches – all so the drug reps can woo the docs

Phone call “Um – yes – I am 9 months pregnant and my contractions are about 5 minutes apart – what should I do” --- the funny part – I’m not allowed to tell her to go to the ER – the nurse has too

“I’m keeping the little swimmers warm and happy” – a nurse with artificial insemination sample in hand

“No – I am sorry ma’am, we do not sell Doctor Scholl’s here” – phone conversation with someone who misdialed our 800#

“Here is a very sweet, but free drink for you, think of it as the beer you can not have right now” – a nurse giving a glucola drink to a pregnant patient – the glucola is to test for gestational diabetes

“Um – where can I leave my ‘sample’ at” --- a pregnant patient who carried her urine sample out of the bathroom (where the little closet is to put it in)

“ah – smacktard – you have another phone call” (I had to add that one)