My Place ---- I'm confused --- WAIT, maybe I'm not: April 2006

6 things MEME

Ok – I know that no one reads this blog- but my bestest friend meme’d me – so here we go:

6 things you may not know about me:

1. I used to be a man! Ok – just kidding – seeing if you are paying attention. But at this time of the month, every month – I sure as hell wish I was!
2. I love my coffee – gotta have it every morning. I do not like it without anything in it – but if that is the only choice – bring it on! Is there a way to do that thru an I.V.?
3. I will listen to almost every kind of music – from Opera to Eminem. But refuse to listen to anything polka related or having to do with bag pipes. But for the record – COUNTRY MUSIC ROCKS!!!
4. I was once married to an abusive drug addict who dug a freaking tunnel under my house, without my knowledge, while he was up at night tweaking!!!
5. My son was born premature – 2 and a half months. We had to be airvac’d from Bullhead City, Arizona to Las Vegas, NV for care.
6. I am constantly on a mission to find the biggest coffee cup out there! The one I have right now is a little of 7 inches tall and 3 ½ inches wide, is neon light green and says “I’M AWAKE” down the side!!!

OK – there you have it – like it or not! LMAO!!! I have no one to meme but stay tuned – I will have one of my own shortly!

TMI from the OB/GYN office

Here is one for the books folks - hold onto your lunches!

Here is a little background: I am training to post daily receipts and visits. The lady who is training me has a cheat sheet that is pretty hard to read - there are notes everywhere!

So - I am on my own and trying to post today. I come up with one that I need to look for info on her cheat sheet for. I come across something that states simply "Lost Tampon" and gives me the diagnosis code to bill for that.
Now - I am thinking to myself: Self - what the hell - how do you loose that?

Curiosity gets the best of me - so I ask one of the nurses standing up front waiting for her next patient and I get my answer.
I got a story about a patient who came in here for "pelvic pain". While doing the pelvic exam - the doctor finds a tampon deep inside the woman that has been there for months (yes - I said months)!!! It was rotten and - well - I won't go into more details than that. I get another story about another doctor doing a procedure on a woman that isn't working - upond researching why - yup, you guessed it --- a tampon was way up there again.

BTW - it happens more than you would think (which really scares the hell out of me). Which leads me to one question:

HOW THE HELL DO YOU FORGET ONE OF THOSE?

I don't know about you - but if I put anything IN my body - I sure as hell remember to take it out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SON!!!

I just want to post to say "Happy Birthday" to my son. My baby turns 10 today! I am feeling old but so thankful for him! He gives my life meaning - makes me smile everyday! I can't believe I brought him into this world, premature at that, ten years ago!!! DAMN - where has the time gone!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDDO!!! I LOVE YOU MOSTEST!!!

My pity party - join it if you wish

Well folks - - - my husband has asked for a divorce and this time I am pretty damn sure he will continue through with it. He has threatened it before but never like this. He is so extremely mad at me for our finances and the fact that this new one came out of the woodwork (btw - I now know what it is and know I owe it). And as much as this kills me to -- I don't blame him. I have done some bad things and he deserves better.

A little blast from my past: My husband and I should celebrate 10 years of marriage this coming May. In our almost 10 year marriage - I have messed up BIG with out finances not once but twice. In both times, I had complete control of our finances - I, alone, paid the bills and attempted to manage our money. I did this on my own because I did not want my husband to have to stress over the bills - he worries about so much - I thought I could take one thing off of him. Instead - I couldn't do it - and instead of telling him and worrying him - I hid it and therefore caused horrible issues. I drained our savings and then started bouncing checks from here to hell and back - all the while I was lying to my husband and telling him that "everything is fine - of course we have the money". The first time, I had to borrow money from my uncle to help stop the problems - I still owe him 2/3 of the money. This last time - my husband took a loan from his 401K to pay for my fuck up. This last time came to a head in September of last year.

At that time - I had to come to terms with the fact that instead of helping keep stress off my husband - I added it three fold. I had to face myself and realize that I am not the best person in the world. What kind of person does that to their soul mate, their husband and their friend? I have tried to redeem myself ever since and I thought things were getting worked out. My husband stayed with me and we were working on our marriage because we both decided we loved each other too much to throw it away.

Then Sunday came - I was served those papers (btw - the lawyer I talked to said 'we have been trying to find you since the beginning of 2003' - wtf - I haven't moved in 5+ years - anyway. . . .). Everything from the past was brought back to life with a horrible vengence. He is again so mad at me he can not talk to me - he is physically ill and not sleeping. I can not tell you how badly I feel about hurting him again. Even if I had no idea this was coming - I hurt him again because it was out there - lerking. One more small insight to my past - I was supposed to have been paying on a debt consolidation. I could not keep up the payments so I stopped the consolidation. I did, however, pay off what I knew about on my own. I called a couple credit cards I had and made deals to pay a major percentage of the balance and they called it paid. I did what I could - but again - I didn't tell my husband that I stopped the consolidation. Again - a horrible, horrible lie that I told my husband.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? Why couldn't I tell my husband what was going on? I was so scared of loosing him because of this and my worse fear is being realized. Last year, when this all came out, again, I dug deep and took a good look at myself and made some serious changes in me. I became a more religious person - got to know Jesus more (I have always considered myself somewhat religious) and have put complete faith in him that this is what is supposed to be happening. I am having a hard time with that now because I am so scared about loosing my husband - I can not believe this is happening. I know I should have seen this coming - what else should I have expected - right?

On a somewhat good note I guess - my husband did say that after we divorce and I figure out what the hell is wrong with me and get my shit together - he would like to "date" again. I can't believe my life has come down to dating my husband. How sad is that? I am very grateful though that he isn't just washing his hands of me - I truly do not believe that I deserve another chance - I have destroyed him and that is something I will struggle with my whole life. He is an amazing man and I just hope, and pray, that the Lord will help us be together again - as a family, loving each other for the rest of our lives. Of course - I will love him until the day I die - regardless of what happens.

Thank you for joining my pity party - I am sorry that I have whined for a while - but hell - this is my blog and about the only place I have to do this - so there it is! Like it or leave it!

NOW SERVING

My weekend:
Friday nite: I left work, went to Wal-Mart to buy paint (because we painted Saturday). I bought what I thought was the correct paint. I came home, walked the dog, cleaned more crap off my walls. When my husband came home, I cleaned myself up (because I had a Pampered Chef party to go to that I wasn't really in the mood for) and asked my husband to get the 5 gallon thing of paint out of my Jeep. Well - evidentally - I bought the wrong shit and my husband was pissed. He put the paint in his truck, got my son and took off to returned/correct it. **sigh** I reluctently went to the party I promised I would attend - thinking I would be one of a few people. OMG - I got there and there had to be 30 guests. **pfft** I stayed, looked through the catalog anded up bring home four pairs of shoes my friend was getting rid of. (So the evening wasn't a total loss - lol) I went home, my husband was in a better mood thanks for Budweiser. We hung out and went to bed way too late for needing to get up to paint.
Saturday: We were supposed to be ready at 8am for painting. My husband recruted a friend from work to help us and he was going to be at my house at 8am. Well it was REALLY hard to get out of bed but we managed to at 7:30am (yeah - I know - a little late for the 8am deadline). My husband called the guy and he was on his way over - like right up the freaking road on his way. My husband told him to meet us at a local restaurant for breakfast - buying time. We met up and ate breakfast - regrouped at my house around 9:30am. By 10am - we were painting. By 4pm - we were done. It was pretty fast. During the painting processed - we received a call from a lady wanting to see my house - did I forget to mention it is up for sale? Of course someone would call when I have the house torn the f**k apart. We made arraingements to meet on Sunday morning. NICE - now that we have the painting out of the way (for the most part) - I now have to put my house back together so that someone can walk thru it in the morning. I say "me" - because my husband had given in to his tiredness and was molding into my couch. **pfft** I put some of it back together and gave in too. Stick a fork in us folks - we were done!
Sunday: I got up early, knowing I had to clean and truth be told - I was a little pissy with my husband who had evidentally wanted to get himself laid but wasn't real nice about it. Soooo - I took a shower and got to putting my house back together. There was a knock on the door and I am thinking "If that is the lady - she is very f**king early and she will have to come back whether she likes it or not". I answer the door, a Jack Russell Terrier in one hand and the doorknob in the other. There is a man standing there and he says "Are you Crazy in Colorado" and when I knod - HE SERVES ME COURT PAPERS!!! OMG -- OMG. I am being sued by a company I don't know. Yuppers. I have been served. According to the papers - I have an outstanding debt with a company called "Platinum Financial Services" from 3+ years ago. First - I don't know who that company is. Second - why haven't I heard from them before now? I will be calling them on Monday. Well - needless to say - my husband got PISSED - left the house (and me here to clean and show the house). I didn't see him most of the day. So - I pulled myself together - finished cleaning - showed the house - went to Wal-Mart for groceries - came home - showed the house a second time to the same lady and her daughter. My husband came home - sat on the couch - ate dinner - and went to bed. He didn't talk to me at all. (Still hasn't as of this posting).

So there it is - that was my weekend. And now it is Monday, I am in a foul mood, I have to go to work and pretend I wanna be there, call the lawyer on the papers I got yesterday, try to figure that all out and in between - try and figure out where my marriage is going. Don't you all envy me?

All in a day at the GYN office

I work for an OB/GYN office. I work with the most diverse group of ladies imaginable. Here are some conversations:

CONVERSATION #1
Nurse 1: Guess what

me: What???

Nurse 1: I'm tired of looking at vagina's

(ok - I'm thinking - what the hell do I say to that)
me: Are you gonna switch sides

Nurse 1: Hell no (laugh)

CONVERSATION #2

Nurse #2: Wanna see some pictures of my new snowmobile?
Me: Sure (after seeing pics) = oh that’s a nice one – betcha have fun with that!
(ok – I left that one wide open)
Nurse #2: Oh yeah – it’s orgasmic – the best thing to have between your legs besides your husband.
Me: hmmm- might have to get me one of them! (the snowmobile – already have the hubby)

CONVERSATION #3

Nurse #2: Yeah, I’m in a mood – my Bob is broke
Me: I didn’t know that was your husband’s name
Nurse#2: No – not my husband – my B.O.B.
Me: (taking the bait) = what is that?
Nurse #2: My Battery Operated Boyfriend = he’s out of order = needs batteries
Me: (thinking to myself as I walk away = why? Why in the hell did I ask)

Yeah - Nurse #2 - she's interesting!

The other conversations are somewhat similar so I won't go into those. But I want to tell you all about my favoritest person in this office - we'll call her Joey --- I don't know much about her background - but she was born in Jersey (I think) - has that New York accent. She was a taxi driver for a few years in New York. She is the nicest person but you can tell she would kick your ass if you crossed her. She has the best sense of humor. Just a few minutes ago - the office manager asked "are you cold" and she thru it back at her "it bothers me that you would ask 'if' I'm cold - obviously I'm not - I have my sweater on -- the better question would have been 'were' you cold." --- lmao!!! That's Joey! She will drop and do yoga in the middle of the hall. At times, when we get a shipment in with those bubblewrap things in it - she will take them and line the hall and go for a run that she calls "theraputic" so it sounds like rapid fire from machine guns!!!
Stay tuned for more from Joey - I will blog about her musings! My favorite: "I hope you don't fuck like you park - you'll never get it in". A saying that she put onto paper with a drawing of a car and distributed it around the office "just in case you wanna print off copies to keep in your car". All of this stemmed from a lunchtime encounter with a semi-truck that could not park AT ALL and blocked her in, well almost blocked her in!

My life path number

Your Life Path Number is 7

Your purpose in life is to find truth and meaning
You are very spiritual, and you are interested in the mysteries of life.You are quite analytical and a great thinker. You have many theories and insights.A life of solitude is perfect for you. You need time to think and do things your way.
In love, you are quite charming. You attract many with your confidence and wit.
While you enjoy being alone, sometimes you take it to an extreme.You can become too isolated, shutting out loved ones and friends.Express yourself a little bit more, and you'll be surprised where it takes you!

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Oh boy - this is good - just from a birth date - I like it! Try this one out - see if it works for you!

My hillbilly name

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Kissy Cissy Houston

Hillbilly Name Generator

For me - the woman who owns a NASCAR Goodyear tire off Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s 2001 Chevy - lol!!!

I'm a classic

You Are a Classic Martini

You area sophisticated drinker, who knows that simple quality is over-rated.You're a knowledgeable drunk, but sometimes you're a know-it-all when you're blasted.
You should never: Drink and gossip. You tend to forget who's standing right behind you!
Your ideal party: Has a real bartender. But no one mixes a better drink than you.
Your drinking soulmates: those with a Chocolate Martini personality
Your drinking rivals: those with a Margarita Martini personality

What Flavor Martini Are You?

**sniff**sniff*** my dad would be sooooooooooo proud!!!