MY FAVORITE SAYINGS

OK - I had to share. I saw, of all things, a lighter last nite at the gas station and it had a saying on it that has now been added to my list of favorites.

From the wisdom of a lighter:
All men are idiots, and I married their king!

My two most favorite bumper stickers:
1. I'm not tailgating - I'm drafting
2. I'm not speeding - I'm qualifying

My all time excuse for not exercising more:
I had to give up running because my thighs would rub together and catch my shorts on fire!

From the wisdom of a pillow I bought my sister:
I smile because your my sister, I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!

Hanging in my home:
My house was clean last week - sorry you missed it.

Another good one:
You say "bitch" like it is a bad thing!!!

On the sign outside a church I drive by everyday on my way to work:
Don't worry - Moses was a basket case too.
When you can't sleep - don't count sheep. Talk to the shepard.

My all time favorite - tell everyone I can: (can you say it's wrong)
All men are assholes - they just vary in the degree

The t-shirt I want more than any other:
I'm confused. . . wait, maybe I'm not